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Masculinism and gender equality
By Psyche | January 29, 2008
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We all know women have made great strides toward gender equality in the past hundred years, yet it seems men have barely inched along.
Men continue to be abused in pop culture, and indeed, the male image may be subject to further degradation and oppression now than at any point in the last hundred years. How does this affect men’s psyches and general self-perception?
Movies abound with intellectually and socially inept depictions of men; consider Dumb and Dumber, There’s Something About Mary, and American Pie. Popular themes reinforce stereotypes that men are stupid, bumbling, drunken morons who can’t get laid, stay awake, achieve in school without becoming a social pariah, let alone acquire decent jobs once they’ve eventually stumbled through the system. Beavis and Butthead serve as prime examples of male role models for my generation. It was cool to like them, imitate their grunting laughter and shout “fire! fire!” in a manic high pitched voice. Hardly paragons of grace and wit.
In grade school, girls could raise their hands to answer questions, but were a boy to volunteer that he knew the correct answer, he would be subject to ridicule, and, if he was physically inferior to the usual group of bullies, the punishment for studying would be felt later in gym class.
In place of academic excellence men are expected to know of the rules of various sports, team names and players, as well as memorize absurd statistics of sports they do not play with any regularity themselves. This is almost a pre-requisite for interaction. Knowledge of video games may serve as a substitute.
Metrosexuals have made advances in male grooming and hygiene, but outside major cities, men are typically expected to submit to whatever the local drab wear happens to be (jeans, t-shirts, and, occasionally, dress shirts). Men are socially allowed very limited displays of fashion, perhaps a watch or cufflinks. In some subcultures chains, grills and other “bling” are flaunted, but these are not typically seen in the business world, where dress shirts and suits have changed little in the past hundred years. The barrier for men to wear skirts and dresses in the office has not been crossed with much success. Men are still viewed strangely when eyeliner and lipstick is applied outside of certain clubs.
Yet, for all this, they are still expected to “score”, usually with the opposite sex. Men are expected to obtain as many sexual partners as possible and share the number with their friends to attain social standing, rather than evaluate the merit of the men themselves as individuals. Occasionally some allusion to “biological imperative” is made in attempts to validate this behaviour though it’s exceptionally rare that these men are actually seeking to impregnate anyone.
To further complicate things, when they do impregnate a woman, the mother’s identity is clear when the child is born, yet there’s no way to easily determine the father short of a genetic test. Doubt may be cast from the minute a child is born.
It’s becoming more and more common for both women and men to return to work shortly after a child is born. However in many places maternal leave up to one year is given, but paternal leave is relegated to a handful of weeks - if anything1. Men continue to be deprived of bonding time with their children when it’s most critical.
Advances have been made, but men still have a long way to go before they’re perceived as equal members of society2.
Strangely, it’s the men who seem to continually oppress themselves. Is this the male privilege that’s supposed to give women penis-envy? Hardly.
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January 29th, 2008 at 11:52 pm
Very insightful post, double points for being a female writer posting about this! White men, in particular, are not allowed in our culture to vent about these types of issues precisely because all the non-white males have worked so hard at getting a piece of the Good Ole’ Boys’ Club.
It may be just because I live in a very liberal & progressive city, but I get away with a fair amount of dress code creativity, so long as I make sure I have on the mandatory “black jacket” (which is required for both male and female counselors, but has recently been changed to “any sport jacket”). But I still wear a classic B&W suit when dressing to impress anyone, particularly when job seeking. It gets better results, IME.
Great post, Psyche. As per usual.
[Reply]
January 30th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Indeed, Psyche, thanks for mentioning this
The issue of “Male affection” has become seriously warped and thwarted, and constant playing on our subconscious sexual urges has become commonplace. Thwarted qualities of affection often become Violent, if repressed long enough.
Pair this with the number of teachers (One of the few, traditional, and still accepted bondings between males) diminishing in variety - Coaches take a militaristic style of leading, as do the characters embodied in most video games, or action movies - Warring Mars incarnate - and suddenly genuine openness of affection between men gets squelched, heavily.
Called upon as weakness and intentionally degraded. Yet still obvious undeveloped in those that would call it out.
(”Fuck you, you cocksucker” - (But don’t ever approach me in that way. Ever. It makes me very uncomfortable. I just need to make sure that the walls are closed between us. Because I’m the alpha male.)
The inability of men to open up emotionally to one another has seriously unhealthy side effects.
And for whatever reason, we get judged as weak for opening up to women.
Everyone needs an outlet. Yang tends exemplifies the emanating, creating, force. Bottle it, and it’ll only build in pressure.
I think the pervasive polar vision (0 OR 1, in no way a mixture) of the Strict Male and Strict Female hurts all of our sensitive, dual (or more), selves.
You’ve done a great job highlighting qualities of the inner male that we need to seriously work to avoid.
Thank You.
[Reply]